Foreign tourists are coming up to me on the streets and asking, “David, you have so many different kinds of inequality in your country. How can I tell which are socially acceptable and which are not?” This is an excellent question. I will provide you with a guide to the American inequality map to help you avoid embarrassment. Academic inequality is socially acceptable. It is perfectly fine to demonstrate that you are in the academic top 1 per cent by wearing a Princeton, Harvard or Stanford sweatshirt.